That thing called Love

I have always been a strong supporter of love at first sight. I remember all those arguments I used to have with the friends because they did not see love happening at first sight. Yet I was a true believer. I was waiting for my prince in shining armor to ride up to me and sweep me off my feet. Knowing how head strong I am, it would have been quite an effort.

But fate had other plans. I met you. It was not love at first sight. We talked, argued, fought, separated many times only to get together again with greater bonding. I did not realize I am in love with you at first. My heart used to sing out loud when you were near and when you were not around, it was down to the dumps. I did not realize how important you had become to me until the day you almost decided to push me out of your life. I lived like a zombie for a week then. As usual, we were back together. You were the same. But I was not. I was a woman in love.

 

I was carefree before. But now, I felt burdened. Your words, which only brought out the argumentative me before now hurt me. I began to take care of what I say to you for I knew you will fling words at me without care and I will have bear the brunt now. Things changed. Still, you were blind. Or rather you chose to be. 

Now I have come to a point where I cannot keep this to myself. I live in constant fear that I might blurt it out anytime. My soul feel trapped. I wish things didn't have to be like this between us. But then, this is reality. 

 

I have heard people do mad things for love. Yes, I believe in it now. I know I cannot have you. There is always a difference between what you want and what you get and I have learnt to accept it. All I want to have now is memories. Memories with which I can nurse my broken heart once you leave. You will  never know that every time we are alone, I stove away the memories in a bag to be opened when you leave. Each time you smile, I take photographs with my eyes so that I will remember them when I am down and you are not around. 

I now know love at first sight did not happen to me. While I was waiting for my prince, I befriended a stranger who slowly but steadily claimed the rights to my heart.  

P.S. : This is inspired from true life. I will not lie by declaring this as fiction. 

On being nice and other things...

After a particularly distracting bad day at work, I was at my wits end and needed an outlet. And like most people, I turned to internet. I googled for some inspiration and found this.

Now this one is bang on! Being nice is probably one of the most disputed aspects of human behavior. While as the picture says it feels nice to be nice, there are instances where being nice is tagged as being fake. Being nice always is looked down upon by hypocrites.

But then, sometimes people are genuinely nice. They try to be nice to people because it makes them happy.  This is not being fake. Well after all, it is said, Love they neighbour as you love theyself!

Yes, there are situations when things not so nice have to be spoken and discussed. But until then, be nice. For you might never know when the situation might be reversed.

Now the picture below made me think about each of those emotions and made me realize there is much more worse things  that could have happened but did not. So I am thankful for it.

Next, I simply loved this one because the single short sentence had a lot to say. Only you can pull yourself out of an abyss created in your mind for only you have access to it. There is no use in looking up to others for help. Self help is the best help!

Finally, a few lines from one of my favorite poems of all time.

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I-- I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I have very fond memories of these woods for this was my best trip in Germany

P.S. : A very random post written when all I wanted to do was to whine and rant.
P.P.S. : Just realized this fact : 'Learn to accept things, not expect things'

The Guy Next Desk

I read a post here by a friend sometimes back and I decided then that I must write something on the guy who sits next to me in the office. Incidentally, he changed teams and today was probably his last day as the guy next desk. So here I am, writing about the guy next desk.

I have the most intriguing character sitting next to me in office. We are almost like cat and mouse, one never agrees to the other without arguing on it. This person is point blank frank who gives the most honest opinion on things even if it means saying something that is so rude to be actually said. He is a proud misanthrope. A go-to person for all kinds of problem if you can actually bear with the attitude!  If he decides to help you, you can consider your problem solved. Such is his prowess. Getting into arguments with this guy is a waste of time as he has an answer to every question, yet I love doing that.

For anyone, their first job and first boss is special and in that way, I can say I am very lucky. I had this awesome person leading me. Someone who gave me my own space but still managed to steer me in the right direction. Someone to whom I can trust to ask any stupid questions and have him answer it (after a verbal jibe, of course!) I have learnt the ways of a corporate life from him. 

Personally, he has become a good friend. A person I turn to when I require honest opinion. A person I turn to when I need any kind of help. A person who can make me smile any time. A person who many a time acts as a mannequin to whom I speak my thoughts out and come to a conclusion myself. A person who never misses to point out any flaw in me. Also, my day is not complete without an argument with him. 

Now that he has moved on to a new team, I will miss all these. My desk will not remain the same without this guy next desk. You will truly be missed.

P.S. : I have always known that I am emotional. But what I did not realize was the extent to which I am. I spent buckets of tears crying over this change. 

P.P.S. : I guess there are going to be similar posts every time my team changes for I have an awesome team to work with. 

P.P.P.S. : I know I must not mix professional and personal life together, but then given the amount of time I spend at office, it is almost inevitable.

P.P.P.P.S. : Yay!! This is my 50th post! 

Sudden Realisation

Sometimes once in a while, you need to do something so that you are reminded of the person you once were. Sometimes life gets into a rut and you even start liking the rut. And all of a sudden, you wonder what the hell is happening. You wake up suddenly and you realize you have become this person you don't recognize anymore. You have become this person you swore you will never become. And you need to prove to yourself that you still have it in you to be what you once were. That you are still capable of a making a comeback and not beyond redemption.

Yes, this is exactly what I am feeling right now. 

Unknown to You

I wish I could tell you,

How much I adore you.

Every time I see you,

A smile blooms.

Every time I speak with you,

My lips curve.

I try not to fall,

But I already have.

I try not to show,

But I miserably fail.

I try not to love,

But I really do.

I know this is wrong,

For you belong to someone else.

I know this is impossible,

For fate will have the final laugh.

I know we are not meant to be,

For anonymous I will always remain..

My Only Muse...

Every time I talk to you, there is one more conversation to remember. One more memory to be cherished. One more thought to ponder upon. One more word added to the list which will trigger a flashback when I hear it again. One more inch I fall deeper for you. I begin my day daily swearing to myself that I will avoid you today. I will not smile at you today. I will keep my thoughts to myself today. But I end up talking, arguing, smiling and sharing my thoughts with you. I know I am fighting a battle with lost cause here.

I have never felt this way before. Not with such intensity. But then I know you are forbidden. Perhaps, it is the fact that you are forbidden that makes me yearn for more. But somewhere deep inside I know, I will never take this to the next level. I will never give you the complete power to own me or break my heart or yours in the process. We are safer the way we are.

Yet, you will always be my muse. My Only Muse.


P.S.: I read this post "The Ultimate Connect" which struck a chord and touched a nerve somewhere deep inside and I just couldn't resist writing. Thanks for inspiring me to write after a really long time!

P.P.S.: For the first time, I have tried writing something romantic and fictional. So excuse the randomness!

My Take on Neethane En Ponvasantham

Well, it has been more than a day since I watched the movie and I am still not sure what to say when people ask me about it. Its definitely not the best, but is it bad? I don't know. The movie was just not what I expected.

The movie begins with a note : Some moments from the love story of Varun and Nthya. And that exactly describes the movie. It is in bits and pieces. Some of the bits are great while some just suck.


It is the every-day story of a girl and boy who love each other, but not enough to give up the egos for each other. At every point, it is their egos that clash and they separate. But surprisingly this time, the director has let the lovers have it their way and finished it with a 'and they happily fought ever after'.

The saving grace of the movie is its music. The film is a real treat to all Raja sir fans' out there. The way the music has been used in the narration of story is very beautiful. Without the music, the film would have been a total dud.

Another stand out feature of the movie I think is Santhanam. For the first time, the first song in the movie shows someone other than the lead actors. His one liners and 'chill out machi' provide a good diversion. The spoof of VTV is just hilarious. It seems Gautham Menon wanted to make the spoof of his movie himself before anyone else would get a chance.

If we ignore all these, the film looks very similar to Vinaithandi Varuvaya (to me, even the calligraphy of the titles looked the same!). It had the cliche 'Feet' scene, 'angry heroine's back' scene and the indecisive girl character. I guess, one can always expect such things out of Gautham Menon's movie.

Coming to the best thing about the movie, you will not remember a thing when you finish watching the movie. Yes, the movie requires your undivided attention. Otherwise you will not know what is happening and before you figure out, the leads would have moved on to another fight! I have decided I will never again venture to watch a movie before the reviews are out so that I will know what to expect.

To put it simply, Neethane En Ponvasantham did not live up to its expectation and the hype created before the release is the death of it.